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Picture One Thousand Words
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and yet I have no power :iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 0 0
Literature
We Learned How to Die
sometimes i look at you
and i wonder what's happened
we used to live so carelessly
and loved like our blood was fire
but once upon a time
you were touched by death
and i was cursed with time
and slowly we started falling
and we landed in a field of green
that to our eyes looked empty
and instead of living
we learned how to die
what happened to the moments
of pure joy and admiration
we spent all our times imagining
and learned how to keep our hands open
we floated in the ocean
and counted the stars while the sun rose
because it was easier to know
that we could be everything
and then we fell apart
and our minds started to fray
because insanity was written in our blood
and despite what we thought
there was no way to escape.
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
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Literature
The Day I Said I Was Leaving
the day i said i was leaving
my brothers put up the christmas tree.
it was as if they some how knew
that a little light was needed,
in the suddenly dark world.
the day i said i was leaving
my mother said she was disappointed.
but you see it wasn't her
and my words only made it worse,
it was all me.
the day i said i was leaving
i felt great relief.
the christmas lights were mine
and instead of being caged,
i could suddenly fly.
the day i said i was leaving
i saw the anger in my father's eyes.
it was something i had seen
on one too many occasions,
but that night it was worse.
the day i said i was leaving
i promised i'd return.
but i'm still not sure i meant it.
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
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Literature
Coin Toss
lately my brain has been challenging
my mind to coin tossing matches,
and on an almost daily bases
it loses.
it keeps raising the stakes
telling my mind that eventually
it'll win again
math says so.
but experience has proven it wrong,
and every morning
i stand upon the edge
waiting for the coin to seal my fate.
my brain has been on a losing streak,
and i lost count at the one month mark,
which was sometime during grade five.
and i'm not saying it's always hard
sometimes it's easy to let my mind take over
and give my brain a rest.
after all fighting thoughts of depression
and suicide
is a hard business to be in.
and the coin they use in their matches
has become nothing more than a piece of copper,
with no picture and no words.
a perfection reflection
of the silent battle they fight.
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
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Literature
Thank You
I just wanted to ask you something.
Do you know how many times you save my life?
I won't ever be able to tell you
because I honestly don't know.
Once upon a time you were my only friend,
and somehow you were able to be everythign I needed.
You were my best friend,
my worst enemy,
my secret crush,
my shoulder to turn to.
I won't ever be able to tell you how much
you saved me
and how much it means to me.
But as I slowly fade from your mind
I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for the late night conversations
about family and life,
conversations that started avalanches
of broken feelings and tears that ended with me laughing.
Thank you for trying to impress me
to the point where you told me some guy pulled a gun on you
and you kicked his ass.
You were the most important person in my life for the longest time.
Thank you for conversations about our futures
that at one point were going to join together to become something amazing.
Thank you for moments where I could actually feel your arm
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
I Love Winter Nights But Hate Summer Days
i love winter nights
because of how quiet the world is.
it's as if the world is covered
in a thick quilt of down
and the lights that dance
have lulled everyone to sleep.
it's a nice time to think
but a bad time to remember.
for every time i think of you
the winter wind invades my dreams
and i am left feeling cold
and wondering where you are.
i hate spring mornings
because of how loud the birds are.
their cheerful songs drag me from sleep
disrupting beautiful dreams
leaving me with the sensation of falling
into an unknown world.
it's a time for new life
but all i can see is death.
for every time i wake up
i remember her loving embrace
and the way she looked at me
as if i was more than i was.
i hate summer days
because of the heat.
the melting sensation of afternoon
and the muted terror of heat
mixed with salty sweat and foggy minds
is a battle ground to itself.
it's a time for flying
but every fall is heart-stopping.
for every time i feel weightless
i am afraid of falling to far
and los
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
The Five Paragraph Essay
introductions:
catch your reader, draw them in
don't let them go.
pick a question, it will soon be your thesis
and your inspiration.
lay out your blueprint, show them
the world you are about to create.
body paragraph one:
speak your mind, paint a picture
full of little details.
give them proof, make sure
they understand your words.
use a transition, there's a river
of thought behind it all.
body paragraph two:
give them a quote, let them
question their own identities.
allow them to seek, but never
give them straight answers.
take a detour, allow your reader
the chance to sight see.
body paragraph three:
what are you, do you even
understand what you're writing?
words are meaningless, why must
they come out in such patterns?
plagiarize, isn't that
what all the greats do?
conclusion:
they will not reach this point.
by now comprehension has set in.
no longer do they care,
for the words are deformed.
write your ideas, use your proof...
but the reader is go
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
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Literature
All I wanted
all i wanted was for you to call,
and yet you left me here
and never bothered to say a word.
i could have left you as i waited,
maybe i should have left my window
and explored the world beyond.
but as i sat here just waiting,
i wished you would call if only
so i could hear your voice.
i wanted to write to you just once;
however, i was always a coward
and never good with words.
all i wanted was for you to call,
i sat by the phone for hours
just so i could hear your voice...
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
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Literature
I Thought it Would Make You Love Me More
i decided to stay
because i thought it would make you love me more...
you tried to force your ideas into my mind
and i found that for you...
they have very little to do with reality
and more to do with insanity.
in the same way my mind has come to a closed door
only to realize that if the doorknob is missing
it's because you broke it with anger
and replaced it with a false sweetness that crumbles like sugar...
our lives are a book waiting to end
and even though mine promises tragedy....
yours promises a rollercoaster of drugs and broken wings
that will become an epic of twisted dreams and monsters.
they always told me family is the most important thing
but when i decided to stay you proved they were wrong...
because of the tiny cuts you left my mind became infected
and i can't seem to find a medication that works.
i promised to stay but how long will that last
when greedy claws try to rip everything away from me
as if i have a choice to hold to what i thought to be right
when you send
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
Slamming Doors and Borrowed Time
slamming doors and dark giggles
cold shivers and angry tears
forced hellos and grateful goodbyes
unknown moments and familiar thumps.

it's your fault.
stolen money and borrowed time
painful smiles and easy fevers
quiet shouts and loud looks
hopeful prayers and broken lives.

you're forcing me away.
chilly suppers and constant fear
bloody thoughts and impure gestures
wishful thinking and sudden actions
empty guilt and subdued heartache.

even "i love you's" won't work this time.
tiring journies and quiet nights
heated words and long distances
burning regret and overused promises
black skies and acid rain.

don't look for me i'm not coming back this time.
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 4 1
Literature
Wondering
i stood in my front hall
gazing fondly at the heavy front door
wondering what it would be like
if i left at that moment
with just my ratty shorts
and thin t-shirt on
with no shoes and no socks
i wondered how much courage i had
i stared at the eyeglass
wondering if the distortion had
in someway distorted my world
and the funny people i ignored had
in someway become the people around
me and the world i saw wasn't mine
and i wondered if the illusion
i saw was inescapable
i stood on my front lawn
wondering how long it would take
for me to run to the river
or how long it would take me to
forget about the bad memories
i always seem to hold onto at night
and it took me a moment to start walking
and another minute to return
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
just so you know
just so you know
i'm in love with you.

the way your voice
is both close and far away.
the imagined moments
that drive me insane,
and yet keep me grounded.

just so you know
i'm in love with you.

i almost lose myself
in forgotten conversations.
your touch is softer
than i had ever imagined,
and yet it hurts.

just so you know
i'm in love with you.

you taught me how to breathe
and break through the current.
i want to make everything
you dream our reality
but that's for future days.

just so you know
i'm in love with you.
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 0 0
Literature
I never
i never claimed to be a poet,
not when the words are so unstable.
they rarely come in rhyming schemes
of a and b that aren't that useful,
and often times i'm walking a beam
that's between understanding and remorseful.
i never called myself a dreamer,
not when i've left a trail of broken dreams.
ideas always seem to take flight
but later crash to the ground,
and i know for a fact that memories...
are the hardest thing to bear at night.
i never said i was a lover,
not when fighting has destroyed me.
swords never strike but i'm left bleeding
covering wounds with a flimsy band-aid,
which i'm half convinced will fall off
i just don't know when...
i never claimed to full of faith,
not when i gave up on god.
i did believe all those years ago
praying never seemed to do much good,
and instead of killing me...
he made me live a little longer.
i never claimed to be stable,
not when i see monsters in the darkness.
they come for me
telling me to hurt you,
messing up my writing so i don't write,
and
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
The Sound of Midnight Rainstorms
patter patter patter.
the sound of memories is like the never ending rainstorm.
the world sleeps in that unchanging way it does,
as I lie here waiting for the flood to pass.
the bad is all that comes,
as the good hasn't been used and the expiry date has come and gone.
slosh slosh slosh.
the sound of rain pouring from the pipes is like the raging river of desires.
the sound of a last gasp could be lost amongst the noise.
a spilled jar of pills might drown in the puddles.
salvation may come before the night is done and after i fall asleep.
crash crash crash.
the sound of cats fighting is like the external battle,
fought on the battlegrounds that resemble my limbs.
forced stillness amongst the raging ideas that cause cancers.
cancers of the mind that keep spreading even when my limbs have surrendered to my mind.
gasp gasp gasp.
the sound of holding onto life,
even when the memories threaten to steal my sanity.
the futile hold i have on the reality and the worlds i create to hide in.
walls
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 2 0
Literature
Dream Beside You
The good moments that have happened in my life
can be counted by the empty gaps on my heart
where no scar lives because they are afraid
of the good memories the way I am afraid of the dark.
The times I have tried to cherish my family and failed,
can be measured by the amount of shattered bones in my hands
from the times I have tried to reach out and catch everything,
I can never catch the ball because I can't see.
But I have tried to catch and count the cherished thoughts
as few and far between as they are but the bad is what stays,
for example the first memory I have of my mother...
she's packing her bag and tears fall from her face the way leaves fall from trees.
That is not to say that there have never been good things in my life,
because there have been and there always will be
but the good things come in small doses and the ugly come in large
and I've paid 3 dollars for a drink that leaves a funny after taste...
My family is what ties me down and what forces me away,
the first boy
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0
Literature
Where are you?

gasp
heart is beating
                                                       louder

                                               LOUDER

suffocating
just breathe...
                            ...it hurts...
                                                     
gasp
where are you...
it's dark
god give me light
                                                   
gasp
                                                in darkness
touch me
let me feel you
i can't see you
                                          my heart is beating
           

                              LOUDER...

    louder
a pressure on my ribs...
                                     where are you?
it hurts so much...
gasp
gasp

breathe...
just breathe
feel the burn
beneath my ribs
where are you?
:iconKenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010
:iconkenzo-angel2010:Kenzo-angel2010 1 0

Favourites

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Literature
Thoughts of You
I wonder how many days I spent dreaming,
Of all the things I could never say.
And just when I'd written it all in a letter.
You showed up smiling in front me.
And all of a sudden, the letter didn't matter anymore... (^_^)
:iconWordOfChen:WordOfChen
:iconwordofchen:WordOfChen 212 13
Aang- Blue Morning by twinfools Aang- Blue Morning :icontwinfools:twinfools 1,136 92 Aang- Avatar by twinfools Aang- Avatar :icontwinfools:twinfools 958 69 Ib by Valen-LaRae Ib :iconvalen-larae:Valen-LaRae 118 26 The Bright Side: Chapter 23 p282 by dragongirlhellfire The Bright Side: Chapter 23 p282 :icondragongirlhellfire:dragongirlhellfire 17 32 Prince Zuko by twinfools Prince Zuko :icontwinfools:twinfools 1,580 69 Alean and Two Tigers_comm by Herio13 Alean and Two Tigers_comm :iconherio13:Herio13 3,919 207

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Activity


Huzzah I'm graduating soon!

Prom was last night, and of course I didn't go. :P I didn't really care much for my grade except for a handful of friends I made in the past four years.

Right now I just want to pass my exams and get a high average so I can get into a good university you know? Thankfully my marks tend to go up with exams, and one of my courses is at a college level so the University I'm going to won't look at the mark I get in the class.

Honestly I don't understand why some people call it the best four years of your life, it's only four years and your stuck with the same people for those four years. Of course there are friends you meet, but after school you kind of forget them right? I'm of course going to stay in touch with most of the people I became friends with, especially my best friend, that's just a given. But seriously looking back at high school... besides meeting my best friend and maybe a handful or two of other people the point of it was just learning enough so I could move onto the next stage of life.

Maybe I was just a grump and needed to get out more and 'experience' the best four years of my life in a different way. Oh well it's too late now, and it's not like I didn't enjoy high school at times, because I did.

I have no regrets about not going to prom, and I doubt I ever will like most people are saying. Nor do I have any regrets about how I spent the last four years, I made an amazing best friend and a few other friends, so maybe they were the best four years of my life in that way. But honestly I have nothing to compare it to and I doubt that future years will be horrible to the point that I look at high school and say they were the best years of my life.
  • Listening to: Rise of the Guardians OST
  • Reading: The Wise Man's Fear
  • Watching: Rise of the Guardians
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Toast
  • Drinking: Tea

deviantID

Kenzo-angel2010
Mackenzie
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Canada
Currently sitting in an igloo while my pet polar bear plays with his friend the moose.
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Comments


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:iconrebeccaisleft:
RebeccaIsLeft Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm like 3 months late to reply (again) and don't even know if you're still active on tumblr BUT, just in case you are, my url is houseofstarkk.tumblr.com :D and beware, i'm a full on tv-addict now.
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:iconkenzo-angel2010:
Kenzo-angel2010 Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh a reply? Am I dreaming?!? :O
I've been getting into tumblr a lot recently, I think in the past week is when everything has really been going on... If I'm honest I too am becoming quite the tv addict, though I'm watching a lot of the older shows :P
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:iconeragon13666:
eragon13666 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
why u no pay any love to meeee lol jk
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:iconkenzo-angel2010:
Kenzo-angel2010 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Becauuuuusssseeeeeeeeeee.... I have school?
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:iconeragon13666:
eragon13666 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
dude
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:iconkenzo-angel2010:
Kenzo-angel2010 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
dude?
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(1 Reply)
:iconeragon13666:
eragon13666 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012
oh
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:iconanilync:
anilync Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav
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:iconkenzo-angel2010:
Kenzo-angel2010 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome :)
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:iconanilync:
anilync Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:)
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